The Three Principles

Greater Resilience
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No, of course I don’t get stuck anymore!

 – About realizing what the 3 principles are – and Ego.


The last few years I have realized that I make up a whole lot of stupid stuff. A lot of it has to do with how I try to preserve an image of myself as a really fantastic person. Which I am, of course. Well, I don’t have to work that hard on it at least ’cause I’m a natural, but you know… Sometimes things happen that could possibly imply that I’m not – and that’s… well… it kinda gets me start over again with a bunch of stupid thinking…

What I came to learn as I stumbled upon the 3 Principles for State of Mind® is that our reality is made up by our thoughts – and every thought is made up by ourselves.

We create our own reality.

We live in a by-myself-made-up-illusion created by my own thoughts – which we refer to as our ”reality”.

This is how I understood it: There are a physical reality (which is purely energy at its core) and things happen around us: Circumstances.

What thoughts we as individuals think and buy in to about each and every circumstance  is what we perceive as our reality.

Let’s take this pretty ordinary circumstance of ”being stuck”. When I take a look at “being stuck” from this new understanding of how I create my own reality via my thoughts, this is my conclusions:

 Being Stuck

”Being stuck” is just a bunch of thoughts about a circumstance that I have made up.

At that, they are unproductive thoughts that don’t tend to help me very much.

Also, I actually don’t have to subscribe to that thought, don’t have to believe in it.

I didn’t know that before. I thought that if I believed I was stuck, I was stuck. Now I’ve realized – that this is really just a matter of… thought.

My thoughts could just as well have made up another truth: “I’m just having a pause. I’m not stuck – never have been.”

The next premise I came to realize regarding “being stuck” were:

If you just leave the unproductive ”stuck-thoughts” alone and quiet your mind – new thought will inevitably come and lift your spirit and my inspiration to do stuff – sooner or later.

Much more helpful thinking. Problem solved, I just don’t think anymore about it and it will pass. No need to get worked up about stuff.

Simple enough, I presumed, who knew that the insight ”I never again have to believe I am stuck.” – would become troublesome for me! Why would it? The logic is so simple:

Even if I think I’m stuck – it’s just a thought – and I can choose not to believe in it.

Great! Easy and simple. Just ignore’em unproductive thoughts.

So then, back to business.

I was launching this website and well, the above seemed like a perfect piece of understanding to gracefully share with you for your benefit – the insight about how you make up your own reality:

[Open Purple Box]Dear you.

Your reality is made up only by your thoughts – therefor your experience of life is just an illusion. This is good news: You do not have to take your thoughts serious. You don’t have to believe in any thoughts – especially not the ones that makes you feel bad. Just ignore them, let them pass and new thought will come. You will now have peace of mind. Have a nice day.[Close Box]

Simplicity at its finest.

So I sat down with the laptop in my knee, coffee on the table, no more than 3 pieces of chocholate as incouragement (this would go swiftly). I was all set up and ready to share my insightful wisdom.

There were no brilliance enlightening me.

There were no words of wisdom and simplicity porling from my fingertips.

There were…. Nothing.


Where’s my peace of mind?

Where’s that damn wisdom!?

Come on!

Then it came, but not exactly what I thought I had set myself up for:

Yes, the feelings of wisdom were speaking loudly to me. It was telling me about my quality of thought in that moment. The feeling was uneasy, tense and thoroughly ”stuck”:

Sorry, deary – your thinking is C R A P. 

Please make space for less thoughts and reflection and your core of wisdom shall get back to you as soon as there is an opening, thank you.



Just to give you a heads up: If you choose to, or are already, embarking on the journey of learning and deepening your understanding about The Three Principles, this is what keeps going on, and it can feel like such a bugger sometimes!

One moment your new understanding looks so clear: You think you “get it”, you feel secure that you’ve understood it at depth, your soul is singing cause you’ve just realized that your life has turned into sunny simplicity. ”I get the principles.”

And the next moment, you’re ”stuck” – or whatever it might be; whatever thinking that fooles you in that moment.

You feel the uncomfortable feelings creeping up on you and you so realize that there’s nothing to do about this crappy feeling; you ”should” accept your imperfectness and just leave the thought of [insert what might be holding you up] behind, and now the thought “should” comes along and makes you feel even worse.

Breath, let it be and let those crappy thoughts go… – no, we won’t tell you exactly which thoughts thats mucking it up for you. Just don’t figure it out, darling. Just realize that this is what is.

Let it go.


(And by the way, there are no ”should’s” – that’s just another thought.)


Torture to the ego

The above thought process threatens to start to loop and every thought of it can be pure torture for the ego. Because as long as you are looping, if feels like you are NOT a person that ”gets it”. So the ego personal thoughts keep telling you that, really, you DO understand the principles and what they mean regarding your thinking and of course you understand that you “should” just let those thoughts go.

You know somewhere there inside that the only thing to do is to back off from the uncomfortable feelings; back off from the conscious or unconscious thoughts that are giving you that tense stuck feeling and that mushy, imploding, highway-chaos, stuck for eternity feeling in your brain – the feeling that shows up as soon as you try to squeeze that wisdom out of your annoying stuck place.

But, that’s no good.

You can’t do that.

The small voice were picking me on the shoulder:

Is it possible you don’t really realize what the principles are about? Just right now; just this second; this moment? The little voice is creaping up in my ear. That maybe you should wait for a bit; quiet your mind?

 No, I get it. I get it! I’m just about to write it, it’s just that… Just shut up will you, I’ll get this done.


I don’t know about you, but my ego takes itself very serious at times. That’s a different way of writing myself around the fact that yes, my thoughts do run away with me. My thoughts are fraudsters of the highest league.

I used to think I “get it”, and then I didn’t, and as I didn’t – it really bothered my self made-up image claiming that I am a person who really do “get it” – ’cause you know I’ve had these insights and I’ve realized a bunch of stuff and I feel really different, so… You know?

So yes, I ”know” what the principles are and what that means for my day to day thinking – to the degree that I do, in that moment. And yes, I still feel stuck now and then. And yes, my own ego-thoughts takes that really serious, sometimes. Until I don’t.

And frankly, it IS ok. I might not feel it exactly as that in the very second I forget, but there IS an continuous echo of calm residing within me that tells me that “what is” IS ok.

What ever thoughts we get fooled by, we may very well see it clearer as we turn the corner. We might very well feel unstuck a moment from now. You won’t ever, forever and always be “smart enough” or “enlightened enough” or have “deep enough” grounding – to never again get fooled by your thoughts – to never again forget “what is”.

Because it’s not about “getting it” … It’s about “what is“- and we’ll go in on that in a later post.

If you will, let’s walk this road of perfect imperfection together – and see if we can realize something more regarding these principles. I mean – they are simplicity at it’s finest. Maybe we’ll realize something already next week.

And let’s Stay Solid, ’til next time.


Elisabeth Karlehav guides leaders, coaches and private clients to Stay Solid when the going gets tough. From University degree in HR and Organisational Psychology, Elisabeth has worked the previous ten years as an accomplished HR Business Partner and as a member of management teams in international organisations.

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